NGU LOI TI (*) LEARNED JUSTICE
- Nguyen Hoang Duc
- Jul 31
- 8 min read
NGU LOI TI (*) LEARNED JUSTICE
(Short story by Paul Nguyen Hoang Duc- Translated by Dang Linh Chi)
Hearing that teacher Saron from faraway – Greece- had arrived at Tianjin, many well-off people in the town decided to go to him with their children, asking for a slot in his class. The class had been open for several weeks when a woman went to his class with her kid:
- The class commenced a long time ago, how come you bring your kid here now? - Mr Saron asked with a slight accent.
- Dear teacher, I intended to bring my kid here in the very beginning but then I hesitated for fear that he is too stupid to keep up with such a Westernized class like this. But then I reconsidered and realized that he needs to attend this class because he is stupid. That’s why I decided to bring him here.
- It is very thoughtful of you. So what is his name?
- Dear teacher, his name is Ngu Loi Ti. He is indulged at home so he is rather naughty, if he is badly-behaved then please make allowances for him but just punish him accordingly.
- We do not use physical punishment here!
- Then how can you discipline your students?
- I use principles! - Mr Saron pointed at the kid - Now, come here, and I think that you shouldn’t be named Ngu Loi Ti, so I will omit the first word “Ngu” and modify the two latters into “Loi Tinh”, what do you think?
- Yay, Loi Tinh sounds great! - The kid jumped with joy.
After seeing Loi Tinh’s mother off, teacher Saron returned to the class and said:
- Let’s start with the lesson! I would also like to remind all of you, along with the new student - Loi Tinh, that my teaching method is student-focused, which means you guys are at liberty to choose how to absorb and apply what you learn.
At the moment, Loi Tinh hugged his stomach and said:
- My stomach hurts a lot, I want to go pee and poop.
- Okay, then go to the toilet outside!
- But I want to go to the toilet my own way, at home, I can go pee and poop wherever I want, my mom will always clean it up for me. Now I want to pee here, you won’t beat me, will you?
Teacher Saron replied calmly:
- Of course not, as I have said before, I never use physical punishment, but have you thought this over?
- Dear teacher, I want to live as innocently as possible, I don’t want to think much so I want to pee and poop here. - Loi Tinh said and then peed and pooped right there, making other students run away.
After he had finished his business, teacher Saron said:
- Now take the broom and clean this up yourself!
- But I don’t want to!
- It’s okay, so do you want to leave it there by your side throughout the lesson?
- No way! I want to breath in fresh air!
- Okay, so please get out of here until you can no longer smell the stench.
- Yes, teacher! - Loi Tinh went to the corner of the yard. - Here I can no longer smell the stench.
- Okay, so just sit there for the whole lesson. - Teacher Saron cleaned the pile up and the class continued to study.
In the yard, it was so windy and snowy that Loi Tinh couldn’t no longer bear and he returned to the classroom and said:
- Dear teacher, it is so windy out there, I can’t bear it anymore, can I please go inside?
Teacher Saron said:
- Can you imagine how annoying it is for all the students here to smell the stench of your shit? Other students, do you all agree to let Loi Tinh in?
- We will only agree if he promises not to pee and poop in class again.
- I promise! I will not repeat this action again! - Loi Tinh raised his hand.
- Students, now stand up and come here with me!
Teacher Saron said and took the students to the pigpen and then he asked:
- What can you see here?
- Dear teacher, we can see that the pigs are sleeping beside their shit and urine! - All students answered simultaneously.
- Dear teacher, - Loi Tinh looked down - are you implying that I’m just like these pigs? I'm so embarrassed!
- This is not what I mean! Listen, I didn’t mean to criticize Loi Tinh. Do you know what I’m implying?
The student with olimpie browns raised his hand:
- I know why, teacher!
- So what am I implying?
- The lesson here is that the pig lives alone so it can do whatever it wants. However, we people live in society, one person is solidarity with the other, so they can't do whatever they want.
- That’s right! Bravo! Today, you will be crowned The Best Student. And I would also like to remind all of you of the lesson learnt today: Because we people live together in society, we cannot do whatever we want.
The next day, teacher Saron said:
- Today, we will learn about linguistics. Language is always universal and accepted by all. For example, the word water or fire, strong or weak, expensive or cheap, love or hate must be universal. For example, if someone shouts “Run, theft!” then everyone will run because they fear that the thief will chase after and rob them. Do you understand?
- Dear teacher! - Loi Tinh said, I want to understand the language my own way, can I? For example, if people say “lips” I will take it as “butt” and when people say “hit” I will take it as “kiss.”
- Now, students, stand up, today we will go on a picnic. I want to give you guys money, each of you can use it to buy a dumpling. Except for Loi Tinh, you must go to the seller and say: “Can I buy your shit, baby?”
- How rude of you, I am this old and a young kid like you call me “baby”? And how dare you call my dumpling “shit”? - The dumpling seller and his family members rushed to beat Lei Tinh with a good fight. Instead of saying “Please don’t hit me!”, Loi Tinh said “Hit me more, hit me more” so they hit him harder.
When the students returned to the classroom, no one spoke a word yet Loi Tinh said: “Dear teacher, now I know, the lesson learnt today is that language is always universal, language is for everyone. No one can himself create a new language. Take myself as an example, I cannot replace “dumpling” with “shit.”
- Bravo, Loi Tinh! - The whole class yelled with joy. - Please go and sit in the front desk cause you are The Best Student today.
Teacher Saron concluded:
- Philosopher Hegel once said: Things which are not universal are slanderous and ludicrous!
- That’s right! Slanderous and ludicrous like Loi Tinh just then!
The next day, teacher Saron said:
- Today, we will learn about ranks! Now you guys can arrange your seats by yourself, those who are excellent will sit in the front, and those who are not as good will sit in the back.
- Yes, teacher! - And then the whole class rearranged their seats.
- Loi Tinh, which number are you? - the teacher asked.
- I sit at number 26.
- Why did you choose this seat?
- Because there are 25 other students who are better than I am.
- How many people are there behind you?
- There are 24 students behind me.
- Why?
- Because they are not as good as I am.
Teacher Saron concluded:
- Can you see what I’m implying, only when you accept the criteria set for others can you be measured by the same criteria. If two football clubs do not agree to the same rules, can they find the winner?
- Never! - All students said simultaneously.
- Which team will deny the rules?
- The weaker one!
- Why?
- Because they fear that they will lose so they have to deny the rules.
The next day, teacher Saron asked:
- Students, which is greater, the local or the universal?
- The universal is greater than the local!
- So which is greater, the more universal or the less universal?
- Obviously the more universal!
- What is more universal, the village or the country?
- The country!
- What about the country and the world, which is greater?
- Of course the world?
- So what is greater between the national award and the international award?
- The international one!
- So what about those who haven’t won a single award but still disregard the international award?
- Oh dear teacher, they are ridiculous and uneducated, not knowing the very first lesson that language is universal, why should we care about them?
Next to teacher Saron’s school was a local school taught by teacher Tu Lu. One day, two schools discussed a student exchange program. The school of teacher Tu Lu had a question: “What are humans?” and the students from teacher Saron’s school answered: “Humans are universal people.”
The school of teacher Saron also had a question: “What is a republic?” but the students from the other school didn’t know the answer.
When the program was over, all students gathered around teacher Saron and asked: How come they are that bad? They don’t even know what a republic is.
- Because they don't have the concept of a modern nation. The way they pass the throne is hereditary, the state is only open nepotism. Their “Human, Righteousness, Civility, Intelligence, Loyalty” is just a lesson to teach personal morality, but this lesson is scattered so how can it create a state with the rule of law. Do you know why?
- Because they live locally but they still have family rule! - The students answered. - How can they achieve justice if they do not know universal values! If there is no justice, how can they establish the law?
Loi Tinh got into the fight, his mother intended to beat his classmate - the one with olimpie brow but Loi Tinh stopped her:
- Now you beat him, how about his father beating me in return?
- Don’t worry, I will protect you at all cost, won’t I?
- This is only an instinctive protection, like a chicken protecting its chicks, do you understand?
- So how do you want me to protect you?
- I want you to come here like a lawyer, asking me what I do, whether that is right or wrong and then come up with a judgement of justice.
- Bravo Loi Tinh! Bravo! Today, you can sit in the front desk because you are The Best Student.
People spread rumors that the kid Loi Tinh, once Ngu Loi Ti, now has become an outstanding person, thanks to the Westernized class of teacher Saron, knowing even the thinking of justice. Everyone heard that and decided to bring their children to teacher Saron. On the opening day, teacher Saron had the students sing an epic song called “Anh-tec-na-sion-nan.” The song was Western styled, having a lot of vocal harmonies, accompanied with organ so it was very epic and legendary. The song was not over but already received a standing ovation from the audience.
- What are they laughing at? - Teacher Saron asked his students.
- Dear teacher, they are laughing because students from the school taught by Tu Lu are still reciting “Chi,Hồ, Giả, Dã.” (in Chinese (之乎者也)) So backward! - The students laughed sarcastically.
(*): Ngu Lòi Tĩ: a personal name meaning; extremely stupid
Paul Đức 2015
(Short story by Paul Nguyen Hoang Duc- Translated by Dang Linh Chi)
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